Karen surprised us with things straight out of the book. There were hand-made purses for all of us because there is a whole chapter in the book discussing the “stuff” we women carry around in our purses. We compared the “stuff” in our purses and we found Kiss chocolate from Dec. ’06, European minute tampon, a cigar cutter which was miraculously lost from one of our houses (and a reason why one of us were lecturing the husband about “misplacing things and asking me to find it…” OOPS!). After that, we appreciated even more the chapter in the book – I hate My Purse.

The menu – well, the menu that Karen prepared captured the following out of the book:

The most important thing I learned from Lee was something I call the Rule of Four. Most people serve three things for dinner – some sort of meat, some sort of starch, and some sort of vegetable – but Lee always served four. And the fourth thing was always unexpected… (page 27)

We had the Chinese food theme going on (because Nora had dinner party which was everything Chinese) – spring rolls, ground chicken stuffed cucumber soup, lemon chicken with a zesty, pineapple-y thick sauce right out of page 23 and the fourth odd item was Cabbage Strudel – one of the recipe’s that Nora Ephron feels nostalgic about (recipe here). It was delicious, greasy, crispy and it was worth getting a little gasy.

In honor of the section where Nora comes out and tells her story about what didn’t happen and why nothing happened between her and JFK when she was an intern at the White House, Karen down loaded this cool Clinton picture for our entertainment.

Now that I have read the articles about Mimi Fahnestock, it has become horriblyclear to me that I am probably the only young woman who ever worked in the Kennedy White House that the president did not make a pass at. Perhapts it was my permanent wave, which was a truly unfortunate mistake. Perhaps it was my wardrobe. …Perhaps it’s because I’m Jewish…. On the other hand, perhaps nothing happened because JFK somehow sensed that discretion was not my middle name. (page 89)

We had fun reading some symptoms from the book Heal Your Body by Louise T. Hay. Let me share some intriguing definitions of common ailments:

Cholestrol – clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy. Cure - say “I choose to love life. My channels of joy are wide open. It’s safe to receive”.

Coughs – A desire to bark at the world “See me! Listen to me!” Cure – say “I am noticed and appreciated in the most positive ways. I am loved!”

At 10:30pm, we wrapped up the fun and headed home singing Country Road Take Me Home and Debbie and Eddy still navigating and shouting instructions at me on how to pay toll – duh!

Agenda

We honestly did more than just laughing, eating, comparing secrets of purses and getting lost. We had some serious items on our agenda.

1. Our commitment to help Afghan kids – we agreed (on behalf of absentees as well) that we will fund raise on behalf of Afghan Reading Project – a UK registered charity organization working in Afghanistan. We are hopeful that we can organize something around Christmas and raise $4.500 to build a library and resource center in Kabul. Imagine what a meaningful Christmas it will be if we can pull this off.

We agreed to brainstorm about fund raising ideas and division of labour by October 15 (the next book club meeting).

2. Next meeting – We are reading The Beautiful Things That Heaven Bears by Dinaw Mengistu and we’re meeting at my house on October 15 at 7pm.

3. Contribution to meeting dinner – we decided to contribute $10 which will go towards the dinner during our meetings.
We’ll leave it up to the hostess to either stay within budget or splash out.

4. The review

This is a light book which starts off very witty, bold, daring and detailed. As the chapters progress, paragraphs that make you laugh out loud are replaced by those which make you just smile. Towards the end the book even becomes a bit dreary and it feels like reading a manual.

Still, it is nice to read about things like what we women carry in our purses, the facts about aging neck – that there is absolutely nothing in the world that a woman can do about her sagging neck. How sad! In the era of nip-n-tuck nobody can come up with a fix to hide aging neck?

The central theme of the book – keeping up appearances, becoming a “woman of a certain age”, forced maintenance of the body to fit in – seem pointless in the context of the feminism movement. Isn’t the whole purpose of the movement to free women of gender imposed tasks and expectations by men. If it is, then who are we going through the painful trouble of staying young and being a super woman? Our consensus is that we women brought it on ourselves. We compete with each – who is vainer, basically. We also agreed that compared to American women, European women are less prone to driving themselves crazy with painful and waste-of-time maintenance regimes.

Beyond neck, Ephron discusses parenthood in this book. Actually, she has some interesting observations of the transition from being a father and a mother to becoming parents. She also goes in some detail about the difference and the impact that transition is having on children today.

We give this book 2 out of 5.

Fikirte

I don’t think the rest of us are already burnt out with our second review book and that is the reason why the club meeting on The Alchemist didn’t wow us. We were just not that impressed with the soft, neither here nor there wisdom about following ones heart. Therefore, we spent most of the discussion time philosophizing, with the help of wine, about our personal alchemists (some grannies and hubbies were honored) and unfulfilled dreams.

The Alchemist is a story of pursuing one’s dream, come what may, and finding “treasures from within” along the way. It is loaded with messages, which are a mixture of Lord of the Rings type of mythology/treasure hunting, The Secret type of fancy, elaborate but vague (based on a dodgy application of quantum physics) theme about leaving it all to or tricking “the universe” with your positive thinking to reach or alter your destination and futile attempts to sound as profoundly wise as The Prophet. The main theme goes back and forth between “just follow your dreams” and “destiny is the small victories” on the road to…well, destiny.

A shepherd boy’s journey from Spain to Egypt in search of a treasure about which he had recurrent dreams, is what takes us through these sometimes conflicting themes. Fortunately, shepherd boy is sharp in observing the not too obvious. Amidst this generally vague life philosophy, we encounter a more applicable-to-real-life wisdom when the author delves into the importance of drawing lessons from every situation and “the language of enthusiasm of things accomplished with love and purpose.”

“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation” is the central theme that runs throughout the book. Sure, when you are a young, single shepherd boy whose only responsibility is to your sheep, of course destiny is “your only obligation”. I would dump my sheep in a heart beat and chase my destiny. I would even make up several of them destinies just for the thrill of running in different directions in pursuit of them.

The one message that I personally enjoyed is the idea of taking time to enjoy the little things in life. Cliché? Well, the book brings that out of you. It should be re-titled: The Alchemist: The Ultimate Collection of Cliché. The “dream big and don’t you dare blink lest your omen pass you by” message was slightly wasted on me and my fellow club members.

The shepherd makes a full circle to find out that after all his dream was right there in Andalusia where his journey started. Along the way, he met a Gypsy woman, a king, a crystal merchant from whom he learnt that some people are as fulfilled just having a dream but not pursuing them, got his first taste of infatuation, crossed a desert, fell in love, meets an alchemist, spoke with the wind. It was quite a ride and fortunately he was glad to have been taken on it. So at the end, all is good.

If only the main character were, for example, a parent with this burning desire to find her/his dream!

The beauty of Housseini’s characterization in Splendid Suns, as compared with Kite Runner, is that each character is complex and is not portrayed “in black-and-white.” Here, we are officially disagreeing with the New York Times review. Even the “villainous villain”, Rasheed, shows his soft and humane side now and then. When Housseini shows us a glimpse of his villain’s soft side, it’s almost tempting to make excuses for Rasheed because outside forces such as culture and the political turmoil in Afghanistan seem to have a huge impact on individuals and the dynamics of family life. Then, we come across Tariq and Babi, Laila’s – the co-heroine – lover and father, respectively – who stand out as unique men with their liberal outlook amongst the chauvinistic yet spineless villains and co-villains (for lack of a better term ).

Note: if the norm of reviewing/studying a novel requires identifying one heroine and one villain, then we are prepared to take the risk of breaking the rule for we are convinced that Laila and Mariam are the co-heroines, Tariq and Babi are the heroes, Rasheed and Jalil are the co-villains and little Mariam, Laila’s daughter named after our co-heroine, is the heroine-in-the-making.

Like in his first novel, Housseini’s chronology of events, which corresponds with the chronology of the drastic political changes that took place in Afghanistan transform the family and social dynamics beyond recognition. Yet, he maintains the universal themes of love, endurance, relationship, betrayal, shame etc intact managing to show how these themes can have a life of their own outside of political and social spheres. Often, it’s these daily human interactions, struggles and victories which are forgotten when (my arch enemy) mainstream media just focus on the ills of a society as if people stop loving, feeling, aspiring, hoping, dreaming, treasuring memories, reminiscing good old days… living. These are the “thousand splendid suns”. The parts where people “escape” the brutally strict rules of the Taliban by watching illicit movies like Titanic, Laila and Tariq goofing off and flirting, Laila and Mariam’s tea ritual despite the mayhem at home are all indications of the fact that life somehow goes on. It goes on despite brutal regimes and abusive husbands.

Laila watches Mariam glue strands of yarn onto her doll’s head. In a few years, this little girl will be a woman who will make small demands on life, who will never burden others, who will never let on that she too has had sorrows, disappointments, dreams that have been ridiculed. A woman who will be like a rock in a riverbed, enduring without complaint, her grace not sullied but shaped by the turbulence that washes over her. Already Laila sees something behind Rasheed nor Taliban will be able to break. Something that, in the end, will be her undoing and Laila’s salvation. (page 355).

Unlike Kite Runner, the turning points for the main characters in Splendid Suns is subtler and gradual. Amir, the main character in Kite Runner makes the sharp turn around when he decides to return to Kabul (from the US) to right the wrongs he had done to Hassan, his servant’s son. In contrast, reading Laila and Mariam’s transformation is like watching them grow up.

Impressive balance, brave honesty
One of the factors that make this book so powerful is the balance that Hosseini maintains while developing intricate themes. While staying focused on the central theme of the plight of women in Afghanistan and male dominance, the author takes us readers on a detour to show us women maintaining the status quo. This is best shown through the internal conflicts of Jalil while he was torn between his obvious love for his illegitimate daughter, Mariam, and the subtle force of his wives to marry her off at a young age after the death of her mother. (Eddie – from Bosnia and I – from Ethiopia were surprised to find out that we share the same saying “The man is the head of the family, but the woman is the neck [that turns the head]“.) It is very easy to lose site of the role of women in female-oppressing cultures. Several studies show that, for example, in cultures where female genital mutilation is common place, it’s mostly women who perform the maiming. Similarly, Mammy – Laila’s mother – overtly favours Leila’s brothers both in life and in death making Laila feel like a second rate citizen in her home.

Mammy was soon asleep, leaving Laila with dueling emotions: re assured that Mammy meant to live on, stung that she was not the reason. She would never leave her mark on Mammy’s heart the way her brothers had, because Mammy’s heart was like a pallid beach where Laila’s footprints would forever wash away beneath the waves of sorrow that swelled and crashed, swelled and crashed. (page 130)

Another example is the dichotomy of the use of burqa. It’s obvious that Hosseini went through the experience of being covered up (he did, for real). The much contested Taliban-imposed burqa becomes the salvation for Leila providing her a much needed personal space when all eyes seem to watch her. She can cover her shame and hide behind her burqa. This is very brave and clever of Hosseini to dare cross into a contested territory without losing his balance.

Hosseini’s superb attention for detail makes reading much more interesting. He has the same sharp eyes for details (those which normally pass right above other men’s head) as Alexander McCall Smith, author of The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series. I often have to look at the picture of McCall Smith at the back of the book to ensure that it’s really a white male explaining something detailed through the eyes of a black woman.

Imagine where the world would be if our leaders and aid workers have such balanced view???

The verdict
Eight thumbs (out of ten) up for Splendid Suns and ten thumbs up for Kite Runner! Hold on – this was supposed to be a review of just one book. Oh well. Both are awesome books and we highly recommend them. We also look forward to the third novel – no pressure Mr. Hosseini.

Footnote

Kite Runner the movie is on the making. Details here.

Posted by Fikirte

So we had to improvise with food. Debbie brilliantly suggested to download some easy Afghan recipes and prepare it ourselves – meaning she and I with 5 children around. We pulled it off although I did all the cooking and she just did the shopping – so much for let’s cook together! We also had to improvise with Turkish delight for dessert – courtesy of Eddie. The second non-planned challenge was that I couldn’t send off my kids and husband out of the house because, TYPICAL!!!, my little one came down with high fever. It wasn’t too bad because my kids came only twice to whisper to me some burning issue like “what did I do wrong in my knitting? I have wholes everywhere.” “Ask daddy!” I ordered and got on with the meeting. I don’t know how daddy delt with it, but kids were out of my hair. May I remind them our club is called “Diversion of Life” for a reason? Thank you.

The IRIN movie Losing Hope was a good opening although a bit graphic at times, especially while having dinner. It was good in immediately getting us in the mood to talk about the book.

From Afghanistan to Brazil
The beauty of books! We lined up two books for August and September and we are inviting two other women to join the club. In August we are reviewing The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho. The menu is guarantied to be Brazillian thanks to Leigh, our most hooked up member with a colleague who owns a Brazilian restaurant. Cool!

September has I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron in store for us. We’re ready to have a blast with that one. For maximum effect our newest member, Karen is hosting it at her no-kids home!!! And for a sustained excitement we’re car-pooling. Lord be with the other drivers out there that day!

“With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron shares with us her ups and downs in I Feel Bad About My Neck, a candid, hilarious look at women who are getting older and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.”

Need I say more?

The book review (A Thousand Splendid Suns) was exciting and we found out how some of our cultures, particularly Eddie’s (Bosnian) and mine (Ethiopian) have so much in common. I’ll post the entire review soon-ish, sick child permitting. We’re a bit concerned to carry on with the excitement after reading Hosseini’s two books, The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns which are two deep, deep books. As Debbie put it, “we might feel blaaah after reading this guy.” We’ll try to remain upbeat and not fizzle out soon.

(No) thanks to mainstream media, we often forget that countries such as Afghanistan – which has become a symbol of a broken and unfixable mess – still have beautiful things. Here is a great blog showing the beauty of Afghanistan. The scenery in Band-e-Amir is breathtaking.

Luke Powell’s opinion is that…

“It is important for those living in the industrial world to develop an appreciation for cultures that are sustainable, to learn to see beauty and survival in a world where people walk, live in daily contact with animals, raise their own food, pray, and live in families. Such people have as much to teach us as we have to teach them.“

His spectacular pictures reflect his conviction about the importance of showing what is often ignored.

We’re attacking A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, who is also the author of The Kite Runner.

We’re meeting on Monday July 9th at 7pm. To make the experience richer and funner, we’re having Afghan appetizers and a short movie on the plight of Afghan women under the Talibans’ called Losing Hope – Women of Afghanistan